3.11.2011

New Beginning

I woke up Saturday morning, after spending almost all night in the bathroom.
It was exhausting.

The day of the Run to the Rock 5K race was already here. I originally registered for the half marathon, but since I have not been feeling too healthy the past two weeks, I switched the distance from half to 5K.

It has been a while since the last time I was able to run. Although I am a very beginning runner, I have ran several 5Ks & weekly 3.75 mile race, running the distance usually does not make me feel nervous anymore.

But, this time was different. I felt under-prepared. I was afraid that my body would fail me. I was scared that I would collapse without finishing the race. I was doubting myself, wondering if I was being extremely stubborn, selfish, and arrogant, for not totally backing out of the race.

I thought of something that’s coming from my heart that really felt true to myself:
“If I can believe in myself through this 5K, I will be able to overcome the circumstance where I am in right now.”

It felt right. I had to this, so I did.

This race was was extremely challenging, both mentally and physically. I was huffing and puffing after the first mile, just like when I first started running. I told myself, “Reserve, reserve,” over and over, so I could conserve my energy for the finish. I felt piercing cramp in my stomach after the second mile, and I almost thought about stopping and walking. But, that’s what my brain was telling me. My heart said, “You got this!”

I slowed down and kept on running.

When I finally saw the finish line, I was in tears.
This sense of relief and accomplishment filled my chest.
Then I sped up, passing a few runners, I finished the race as strong as I could.

Soon after that, I found Paul and Moby. We sat down a little while, so I could catch my breath. I was exhausted.

It was more challenging than my 10K, 7 miler, 12 mile training run, or any of my 5Ks. I realize that it became challenging, because I had such a hard time believing in myself. Until I was pushed to the limit, I did not truly listen to my heart.

My running began in March, because I wanted to start believing in myself.

I thought I was worth it.
Just because I got a “Dr. Stop*,” am I not worth it now?
Apparently, I thought I wasn’t anymore, somewhere in my head.

This is a new beginning.

Saturday’s race taught me a few lessons:
1. Listen and follow your heart.
2. Your body can take it more than you think.
3. Believe in yourself.
4. You are worth it.

I know these things in my head, but it is not always easy for me to live by them. Once again, I would like to embrace my body and the current conditions I have right now. I am starting over with a new attitude.

Official Time: 29.09
My Garmin Time: 28:57
Splits:

*Dr. Stop (Japanese-English word): order/recommendation from your primary care doctor to stop doing a particular activity/behavior to protect your health.

Two in a Bowl

I’ve never heard of this before, but maybe its something that is common to some people.

We went to Rota Spring Farm this weekend. They sell homemade ice cream, and they also sell their own beef.

Mayumi got the Apple Pie Ice Cream

I got Two in a Bowl:

What is it? Two farm fresh meat balls with tomato sauce, cheese and bread. YUM!

Since our schedule has been very hectic, and work has been busy, I haven’t gotten many practice runs. Last Wednesday I was excited for our weekly fun run, but when we arrived we realized that we missed the final race, because it started an hour earlier than normal. I hope this week I can get in a few good practice runs, hopefully our work schedule and the weather will cooperate.